We are just coming up on 3 months into the new year and WOW, So many revelations. So many things brought to light in pertaining to my growth and goals that have given me the utmost confirmation of my success in the future. I'm not just speaking about success in succeeding in your niche, I'm speaking about OVERALL GROWTH, in EVERY aspect. I don't just aspire to be wealthy or rich, I aspire to be spiritually whole, mentally and emotionally strong, healed of anxiety and depression. Life at times feels shitty, I lose hope, things feel like they won't ever change but in that same breath I pick it back up and GET THE FUCK ON. EVERYBODY HAS PROBLEMS, EVERYBODY GOT SOMETHING GOING ON.
At one point I enjoyed venting about my struggles and things that bothered me, it felt like it was helping lol... now I hate it. I'm sick of me lol. I'm actually getting tired of talking about my problems at this point, I just really want the solution...
Nothing comes out of complaining anyway, I realized I'm better off just keeping my mouth shut and dealing with what actually bothers me and work on changing it than trying to have a pity party.
January started out with a bang. I was motivated and productive pushing out blogs left and right. I hit my goals and met my quota, I was happy and looking forward to ripping February UP.
THAT. DIDN'T. HAPPEN.
I was drained of energy, mentally, physically and spiritually, I literally felt like I was on ZERO percent EVERY DAY. Who knows what it's from, could be the depression, it does that. It makes you feel gloomy, fatigue, unmotivated, uninspired and drained FREQUENTLY. The things that you love doing, you all of a sudden do not have an urge to do and that for me was damn near the ENTIRE month of February.
I didn't come through for February like I planned on, I didn't do shit I said I was gonna do, NOTHING. GOT. DONE.
I wasn't even mad though... shit happens. I needed that time to do nothing so I could regroup and get my life in order. This is where the revelations came in at.
I allowed myself to feel everything I was going through, every emotion. I dealt with flashbacks from the good and the bad days taking it for what it was worth. I told myself that "this too shall pass" because it will and it did. Check me out writing my first blog after a whole THIRTY DAYS. HEY, Y'ALL.
I took it easy, I didn't rush into anything that didn't feel right, I did what my body told me to do instead of the other way around. I slowly came back into doing yoga, meditating and additionally, listening to Joel Osteen every morning to set the tone. Listen to this podcast about "making peace with yourself". I was back on my vitamins, I started seeing a therapist and collectively I began to understand more and more that this is a PROCESS.Baby steps are required throughout this journey of healing and it's important to NOT be hard on yourself for not healing "fast enough" There's no such thing actually. Where you are in this moment is where you are supposed to be. I removed the weight from my own back by simply giving it to GOD.
I really believe that when you're going through those life test that all of us have at one point or another, what's after, is you coming back stronger than ever. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Acceptance of yourself in your rawest form is the first step.
I had a bad month, so what. Next month will be better. I've been in the cut editing my book that is now FINISHED after almost a 3-year journey! Majority of the editing is done and my cover is complete! I'll be working on that until I head out to L.A for a 4 day weekend! Once I come back I'll be sending my book off to a professional editor and then working on printing AND PUBLISHING!
I'm ok with how things are now, not because I'm content but because I know it's levels to this shit.