How to be more positive
When I started to come to grips with the idea that I had anxiety I began to better understand why I was becoming so negative in the way I thought about my self and the things around me.
The negativity was definitely bringing me down. I didn't feel hopeful for my future and I didn't feel like I was good enough to pursue my goals. I seriously lacked optimism and now that I reflect on my old train of thought, that's what's MOST important when trying to be more positive. You need to be optimistic for what lies ahead in your future, even if things aren't going the way you want right now, you need to BELIEVE that bad times do not last and something good will come sooner than later, you need MORE PATIENCE.
Being positive isn't just a thought, it's a lifestyle, and you need to be ready for that transition. You have to actively remind yourself " Think positive, think positive" "Something good will happen" "I tried my best" etc. KEEP THINKING IT and eventually, that thought will manifest into a NEW LIFESTYLE.
For the last couple of years that I've been dealing with anxiety now (2 to be exact) I have told my self I need to think positive but I wasn't really acting on it so I saw no changes.
A negative thought would pop into my head and I would run with it dragging it out into a bunch of other thoughts that would lead into me thinking of a situation that I had no idea of the actual outcome, I was putting a negative connotation on it before it even happened!
"I won't get the job because I have anxiety and they will notice"
Then the next thought was me placing myself in the actual scenario while conducting the interview breaking apart ALL of the details in a negative aspect thinking of EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG.
Instead of what could go right...
If you're like me and have struggled with being more positive you've probably googled it and read a bunch of articles that you find didn't actually help you. Well, I'm hoping this one is different. It might sound cliche but the reality is, your thoughts are the counteraction of what happens in your life, and in order to start thinking MORE positively, you NEED to keep reminding your self that your thoughts have power. What lies in your thoughts are the "keys" you need to succeed in life. Everybody has them, some choose to access them while others choose to leave them dormant. It's about what you want and if you're ready to use those keys to open those doors...
It's definitely NOT easy and it will take persistence and hard work butWHATEVER you put your mind to you are ABSOLUTELY CAPABLE OF DOING.
If you have anxiety like me you may find that you are constantly thinking of what others think of you, you don't want to, but your brain does it anyways. When you have anxiety or depression it's almost like you've lost control of choosing how to feel or react, while your brain decides that for you and it's not a good feeling at all.
You have to KEEP REMINDING YOURSELF THAT YOU are in CONTROL. NOT your mind.
Changing your thoughts from negative to positive is you basically re-wiring your brain pattern. It's not easy. Don't give up when you keep getting those negative thoughts pop up. Just be gentle with yourself and say "No, this is not what I want to think or feel, I want to feel, and be happy."
EVERY TIME THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS POP UP, REBUTLE IT WITH SOMETHING POSITIVE.
It's all apart of your G R O W T H.
"I won't graduate from college, I'm not smart enough"
"I'm in my second year of college, I've made it this far and I've been able to pass all my classes, I can keep going. I'm smart enough and if they can do it so can I"
"I'm 29 and I'm still single, I won't ever get married or have a family"
"You know what, I'm intelligent, beautiful/ handsome and I'm worthy of being happy and in love. Maybe now isn't the time for me. I should continue achieving my goals and working on myself and I will meet someone soon enough when the time is right for ME"
Along my journey, I have implemented these things as ways to help my self think more positive.
Meditating REALLY DOES WORK. It takes a while to get comfortable with the idea of sitting in silence while calming your mind but PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. (Or close to it) :)
I'm not gonna sit here and lie to ya'll... I DON'T do it every day. Although I would like to, I don't. I've been meditating for about a year now and lately on average 3 -4 times per week.
If you need help getting into meditation I recommend starting a guided meditation. Download the app called Calm This REALLY has help me meditate better. Don't give up on it, the first few times will be hard and your mind WILL WANDER BUT, stay with it, eventually, you will get it! The purpose of meditating is to help you CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. So if you can stay with meditating you will become a master of your mind when those intrusive negative thoughts pop up! Practice, practice, practice!
I recommend reading this book called " A better way to think"
While I have not finished the book I have read 75% of it and it's a really GOOD book. Especially for people that have a lot of negative thoughts and want to work on being more positive. It basically helps you RETRAIN YOUR BRAIN.
It's not one of those boring books either. It's really relatable and interesting in my opinion.
DROP DRAINING AND NEGATIVE PEOPLE
This one is really common sense. While it may be hard at first to cut people off you've known for a while etc, you gotta do what you gotta do! It's not about them, it's about YOU.
If they are not adding to your life they are subtracting! GET RID OF THEM and live your BEST LIFE.
You can't flourish in an environment you are not growing in. If it's toxic or negative it's probably stunting your growth, time to CUT IT.
Once you start to change your thoughts, you will see that you don't even have a desire to be around these kinds of people, then you will start to attract the right people! MORE POSITIVE AND NON- TOXIC.
STOP CARING SO MUCH
You probably worry too much and that causes overthinking.
Stop worrying about things that are out of your control. Let things happen the way they happen and if you believe in God know that he is in control.
Have FAITH in yourself and in your future whether things are going bad at the moment or not.
I'm in a position right now where I do not have a job and my rent is going to be due on the first ( just about two weeks from now)
IF I DON'T HAVE A JOB, HOW WILL I MAINTAIN A ROOF OVER MY HEAD?
HOW WILL I PAY MY CAR NOTE?
HOW WILL I SURVIVE?
These are things I think about sure, but guess what?
A little struggle doesn't scare me. While I've been having anxiety for around two years now, I haven't been so confident in myself and my capabilities.
THAT'S SLOWLY DIMINISHING...
I can honestly say that I believe in myself enough and have enough faith that either way the cards are cut in the end I WILL BE OK.
For almost two months I have kept this mindset and while I applied for over 50 jobs and have been waiting for 3 weeks I didn't get anything yet. I got one call back that didn't end with me getting the job...Then today, I had an interview and tomorrow I have another one!
KEEPING THE FAITH AND STAYING OPTIMISTIC WORKS!
Why should I drive myself crazy or stress myself out? That only makes your problem feel bigger than it actually is.
LET IT ALL GO.
THE JOB, SCHOOL, MONEY, A RELATIONSHIP
JUST LET IT GO!
Everything will work out how its supposed to, have faith and STAY POSITIVE.
I consider being calm a superpower and guess what? You can unlock it if you choose! It took me quite some time but I'm here and it feels great to be able to control my responses to things that could upset me etc. If you really focus on the life you see yourself living and the person you envision to be, IT WILL HAPPEN.
IN TIME, with PATIENCE and POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST. I hope this motivated you and inspired you. Be well and