Wolf of ALL streets
The way I would describe 2018 in one word is A BREAKTHROUGH. A season of changes that I adapted to over the course of twelve months that forever changed the rest of my life. My lenses are clean and I see the world clearly now, I can think effectively and efficiently and I’m grateful because it put me in a position to WIN.
WITHOUT CLARITY YOU ARE LOST.
My circumstances were just that, circumstantial. Necessary by default but also to be acknowledged that it was very TEMPORARY for the time being in order for some growth to be established.
In the back of my mind I consistently kept reminding myself that things wouldn’t always be this way and eventually I would get what I DESERVED.
Even when all failed and it felt like the end of the road for me I stayed true to believing that BETTER WAS IN STORE FOR ME.
I faced MANY MANY hardships but through EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I REMAINED FAITHFUL. I weathered each storm with the mindset that this was JUST A SEASON I had to grow through…
I allowed NOTHING TO BREAK MY FAITH. Not my toxic/ mental, verbal, spiritual relationship, not the lack of a job/ money, my depressive episodes etc. I ALLOWED NOTHING TO BREAK MY FAITH.
THIS IS MAJOR KEY.
For almost TWO YEARS life seemed like hell on earth, like things would never change, like my dreams would never come true. I dealt with having depression and anxiety for the first time not knowing exactly what I was going through initially, but kept instilling words of comfort to myself.
I KNEW WHAT I WAS CAPABLE OF AND I KNEW I WAS MORE THAN WORTH IT.
A recap of my week will inspire you for the rest of 2018.
Last thursday I got into a heated argument with my ex. I packed a bag and left my house abruptly because things were getting a little out of control. I didn’t know where I was going exactly, but I knew I wasn’t staying there. I was scheduled off from work but went there anyways… I thought to myself, “It would be really nice if I could go see my grandparents in PA…Then my grandfather calls me in the middle of me having a mental breakdown…
Next thing you know I’m headed to Pennsylvania… While only being in PA for a few hours I get a call from a job I’ve wanted for years.
I killed the over the phone interview and was then invited to a interview at the New York City headquarters.
THIS WAS GAME TIME.
By Monday morning I was back in my city and ready to claim what was mine. As I get closer to my destination I realize that I DON’T HAVE MY RESUME. Not to mention I WAS LATE.
I couldn’t find parking for almost 30 minutes straight and being that I was in a rush after I finally did find parking I realized that I left my resume in my car.
I set the tone by leaving the company a voicemail and then sending a email for extra coverage. I didn’t want to appear I was lacking in any area even considering my circumstances.
I get to the interview and explain my mishaps and that brings him in more as my hustle is intriguing.
YES I DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM VIRGINIA TO NEW YORK CITY just for this interview.
I felt like that alone said enough.
Either way, I gave the interview MY ALL and after that I was immediately offered a SECOND interview.
I left feeling super anxious because of the fact that I was late and also unprepared but was STILL CONFIDENT BECAUSE I KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM.
I LEFT AN IMPRESSION THAT WAS LIKELY UNFORGETTABLE.
After the interview I went to look for an apartment with a girl and guy that I would be roomating with. Everything we saw was either within our budget AND had qualifications we didn’t pass, or it WAS within our budget but had things that didn’t meet our needs/ wants and or standards.
Eventually the apartment situation reached a boiling point for all 3 of us considering our wants/needs, level of comfortability, trust and communication etc.
SHIT JUST WASN’T WORKING OUT.
One argument that we got into just made me say fuck it, and I started to make my way back to Virginia. The entire move seemed to be supported by the idea that I WOULD GET THIS JOB I WANTED, BECAUSE IF NOT THEN THE WHOLE DEAL WAS OFF.
I wasn’t moving back home to New York City to be average, I was coming to kill shit and nothing less of that.
As I went through the Holland tunnel headed back to Virginia I stopped for gas in New Jersey and got a call from a 1-800 number, I didn’t answer it.
Once I got back to my car I played the voicemail and it was the company calling back to EXTEND AN OFFER OF EMPLOYMENT.
I ALMOST CRIED.
LOOK, I TRAVELED 600 MILES WITH LITTLE TO NO MONEY. I DROVE WITH NO INSPECTION. SOME DAYS I MISSED MEALS, LACKED A LOT OF SLEEP, SLEPT ON MATTRESSES WITH NO SHEET A COAT ON AND USED A SWEATER AS A PILLOW. THERE WAS DAYS I COULDN’T COMPLETE PROPER HYGIENE.
I MEAN THE ODDS WERE AGAINST ME.
I called my roomie back and let them know the good news and from there we made magic happen. The whole argument went out the window and we all had a discussion as adults realizing our worth to one another.
WE SECURED A 3 BEDROOM THE SAME DAY.
Things were literally happening back to back for me and it was starting to feel surreal. The breakthrough felt tingly throughout my body, well deserved to my spirit, warm, liberating, exciting. All that I’ve suffered, all that I’ve endured, all that I thought would kill me made me stronger. Made me capable.
That shit made me HUNGRY.